We meet the boys and some of their school mates in the premiere. Kyle's brother Ike is abducted, Cartman gets an anal probe, and Wendy arranges to meet Stan at Stark's Pond after school. Officer Barbrady denies that there's any weird stuff going on, but cows are being abducted, seduced by fresh hay presented by the alien visitors.
|13th August 1997|
How Kenny Dies
|Zapped by aliens, trampled by cows, and run over by a police car|
|Franchesca Clifford (Voice of Ike Broflovski)|
"Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", the first episode of Comedy Central's animated series South Park, originally aired on August 13, 1997. The beginning of the episode was referenced in the season seven episode Cancelled.
This episode was ranked the #4 in the UK poll Paramount Comedy's Top 10 Episodes.
As Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman wait for the school bus, they argue over the meaning of a dildo, and Cartman tells them that he dreamed that he had been abducted by aliens who gave him an anal probe. The others try to convince him it was real, but Cartman dismisses them as just trying to scare him. Chef pulls up in his car and, after telling them what was being served on the lunch menu for the day, asks if they saw an alien spaceship, inadvertently confirming Cartman's "dream". After Chef leaves, the school bus shows up, driven by Ms. Crabtree, a scary-looking, loudmouthed, middle-aged woman who constantly tells the children to "sit down and shut up". As the bus is driving away, Kyle looks back and sees two aliens holding his brother, Ike. Kyle pleads with Ms. Crabtree to let him off the bus, but she yells at him to sit down or else he'll get an office referral.
Meanwhile, several cows have been turned inside out. Incompetent Police Officer Barbrady has been called to investigate and explains that cows turning inside out is not unusual. As he talks with the rancher about the recent gossip about UFOs, several aliens try to lure the remaining cows away by whistling and offering them straw. The cows, not taking the bait, run away from the ranch. Barbrady ends up trying to retrieve the cattle for the rancher, even as they try to take a train out of town.
Kyle asks his teacher Mr. Garrison if he can be excused to find his brother. Mr. Garrison tells Kyle he has to ask Mr. Garrison's puppet, Mr. Hat, who uses Mr. Garrison's catch phrase of, "You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" against Kyle.
After class, the four are standing in the cafeteria line when Stan reveals his love for Wendy Testaburger by vomiting when she talks to him and gives him a note to meet her at the lake. When Chef is asked what to do when someone does not believe you, he breaks out into a sultry, erotic (but off-topic) song.
When Chef learns that Kyle's brother was abducted by aliens, he freaks out and says, "What the hell do you think you're doing in school eating Salisbury steak? Go find him, damn it!" The boys explain that Mr. Garrison won't let them out of school, and Cartman farts again. This is when a cycloptic robot pops up from behind Cartman and quickly retreats to whence it came. To help the children find Kyle's brother, Chef pulls the fire alarm.
Once they are outside, Cartman repeats that it was just a dream, when he suddenly he is hit by a beam and starts singing and dancing to I Love to Singa. Soon afterward, a flying saucer appears. Kyle throws a stone and the spaceship fires back, hitting Kenny, then vanishes. However, Cartman claims to have seen nothing and walks home in a huff.
Stan and Kyle walk to the place they are supposed meet Wendy, and she helps them realize that the thing in Cartman's butt might be able to make the visitors return.
To lure the aliens back, Stan, Kyle, and Wendy use a rope to anchor Cartman to a tree. After Cartman farts flames several times, an 80-foot satellite dish protrudes from his butt. The alien spaceships show up, and the aliens teleport to the ground. Kyle attempts to convince the aliens to give his brother back with a heartfelt speech, but the aliens simply turn away. Seeing how little they care makes Kyle so mad, he proceeds to cuss them out so badly, that most of what he says has to be bleeped out, and so it's impossible to completely understand. In response to this, the aliens open a door on their ship revealing Ike. Kyle tries to get his brother to jump down by telling him to do his impersonation of David Caruso's career. The aliens apologize to the cows, explaining the inside-out thing was the "new guy, Carl's fault," and give them the device that makes people break into song and dance. Stan thanks Wendy for her help and realizes that he didn't vomit on her. Wendy tries to give him a kiss, but he then vomits in her face. Nevertheless, they spend the night together marvelling at all the interesting digested foodstuffs in the vomit puddle on the ground.
The next morning, Cartman falls from the sky and lands at the bus stop next to Stan and Kyle, now with pinkeye that he claims was given to him by Scott Baio in a dream. Kyle informs Cartman that he really does have pinkeye and the whole circumstance was not a dream. Cartman responds by saying, "Aw, son of a bitch!", which is the final line of the episode.
This is the only episode Trey Parker and Matt Stone animated completely by themselves, along with a bit of help from Eric Stough (the current head of animation), which took three months to make using traditional cut paper stop-motion animation techniques. Almost all subsequent episodes, including the new scenes made exclusively for the pilot episode that aired on television, were fully computer animated using Power Animator or Maya.
Additionally, due to time constraints, scenes had to be cut from the 30-minute pilot or be changed. For instance, instead of pulling the fire alarm, in the original, Chef gives the boys "special extra-hot tamales" to raise their body temperature to give them an excuse to go home. Also, a notable cut scene was the boys picking on Pip in the lunch line, which was later shown in An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig.
This episode was the pilot episode of South Park, but the original pilot was edited and censored due to time constraints and company policy. The unaired pilot differs from the version shown on television in several ways, including:
Different scenes were shown as well, including:
"I Love to Singa," performed by Cartman while under alien control, and by Officer Barbrady after the cows are given the aliens' device, is a song written by Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg originally for the Al Jolson film "The Singing Kid" (1936), and later used in a Merrie Melodies cartoon directed by Tex Avery. (At the time of the original airing of this episode, Time Warner, which owns the rights to the cartoon, also owned a stake in Comedy Central).